You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
