Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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