I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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