you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
