States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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