I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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