Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize