you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
