yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize