My nipple is on Facebook.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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