NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
