I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
