I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
