mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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