I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
