Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
