Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
