i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
