I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
