your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
