Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
