So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
