Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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