I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
