Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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