It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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