yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
