gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
