There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
my being single is dangerous.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
