Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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