I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
