are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
