I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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