I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize