in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
