im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
