Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
