I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
youre lurking in front of me
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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