I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
