i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
