she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
