Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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