I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
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