You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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