i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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