Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
YAS. BRING CRAB.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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