oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
