in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
