This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
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