I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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