when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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