She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
