So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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