do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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