Im at strip club and am horny
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
