Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
