Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
