i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
