I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
