that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
