What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
