I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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