you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
