you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
