paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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