If that was your dad, he is hot
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
