The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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