He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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