hell yes lets make some ravioli
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
